Public Notice
This site is a satirical project. Not affiliated with any government agency.
DQE Seal

Department of Questionable Engineering

DQE • doqe.org • Official Parody Portal
HomePrograms › Over-Optimization

Over-Optimization

Improving performance by adding components until the diagram becomes impressive.

← All Programs

The Over-Optimization program operates under the principle that any system can be improved by the addition of further components, regardless of whether the original system had a measurable deficiency. Performance, in the DQE framework, is measured primarily by architectural complexity and the impressiveness of the accompanying diagram.

A system with fewer than six components is considered "underarchitected" and may be subject to mandatory enhancement review under Directive OO-2023-07. Engineers are encouraged to treat simplicity as a red flag.

Optimization Methodology

  • Phase 1 — Baseline Assessment: Document the current system, note its apparent simplicity.
  • Phase 2 — Component Injection: Add caching, queuing, load balancing, and an event bus. Reasons are optional.
  • Phase 3 — Diagram Elaboration: Redraw the architecture with at least three swimlanes and color coding.
  • Phase 4 — Benchmark: Run benchmarks. If the system is slower, add more components.
  • Phase 5 — Documentation: Produce a 40-page technical report. Mark it "draft" permanently.

Approved Enhancements

  • Redundant message queues (minimum two, for redundancy of the redundancy)
  • A distributed cache for data that is accessed once per year
  • Microservices split for any module exceeding 200 lines of code
  • A dedicated observability pipeline to monitor the monitoring pipeline
  • An architecture review board for the architecture review process

Success Criteria

A project is considered successfully over-optimized when a new engineer, viewing the system diagram for the first time, says "wow" before asking what it does. Secondary success indicator: the original engineer can no longer explain it without slides.