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Inventions

Patent-pending apparatus, devices, and mechanisms engineered to solve problems that did not previously exist.

Patent Portfolio

DQE-MPS-2026-603

Microservice Pencil Sharpener

All the reliability of a pencil sharpener, mediated by a federation of twelve single-purpose services.

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DQE-BT-2026-360

Biometric Thermostat

Regulating room temperature used to take a second. The Department fixed that.

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DQE-ECPM-2026-794

Edge-Computed Parking Meter

Renting curb space used to take a second. The Department fixed that.

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DQE-SCF-2026-522

Sharded Ceiling Fan

All the reliability of a ceiling fan, mediated by a horizontally partitioned data plane.

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DQE-QRPM-2026-822

Quantum-Ready Parking Meter

Renting curb space used to take a second. The Department fixed that.

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DQE-BD-2026-983

Biometric Doorbell

Announcing visitors, now with 5 components and a change advisory board.

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DQE-CEW-2026-398

Chaos-Engineered Whiteboard

Finally, a whiteboard that requires you to tolerate deliberate random failures injected during business hours.

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DQE-ECPS-2026-654

Edge-Computed Pencil Sharpener

Sharpening pencils used to take a second. The Department fixed that.

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DQE-BVTC-2026-643

Blockchain-Verified Traffic Cone

All the reliability of a traffic cone, mediated by a distributed immutable ledger.

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DQE-TEM-2026-124

Telemetry-Enabled Mailbox

Finally, a mailbox that requires you to emit 4,000 metrics per second describing its own performance.

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DQE-FWM-2026-987

Federated Welcome Mat

Greeting guests at the door used to take a second. The Department fixed that.

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DQE-ETEE-2026-788

End-to-End-Encrypted Watering Can

All the reliability of a watering can, mediated by a zero-knowledge privacy envelope.

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DQE-AOSS-2026-033

AI-Optimized Salt Shaker

Finally, a salt shaker that requires you to provide feedback on every action to improve future performance.

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DQE-IRD-2026-425

Idempotent Revolving Door

Finally, a revolving door that requires you to attach a unique idempotency key to every button press.

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DQE-MTC-2026-711

Microservice Traffic Cone

All the reliability of a traffic cone, mediated by a federation of twelve single-purpose services.

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DQE-ETP-2024-003

Enterprise Toast Protocol

Distributed bread-browning across a three-node toasting cluster. Raft consensus required before crust commitment. P99 latency: 4 min.

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DQE-KK-2024-007

Kubernetes Kettle

Hot water delivery containerized across three pods with HPA. Autoscales to zero. Cold-water mode during pod startup.

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DQE-CP-2024-011

The Consensus Pen

Ballpoint pen backed by a distributed ledger. 51% validator consensus required per character. Throughput: ~4 chars/min.

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DQE-RF-2025-002

OAuth Refrigerator

Cold storage gated by OAuth 2.0 + PKCE. Scope-tiered drawer access. Refresh tokens expire every 60 minutes.

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